Lessons I've Learned

We walk the Camino not in hopes of reaching the end but in hopes that our journey is made worthwhile. The Camino of life is something that is ever changing. We meet strangers, allow them to touch our lives, and move forward with the necessary lessons for life. From this class, I have learned that it is important to establish my personal beliefs and create a moral guide for myself inspired by the lessons I have learned. It's okay to question, to explore, and to grow. THis class has really given me the opportunity to embrace the Camino of life. Another thing that I learned from this class is the different levels of intimacy we can have with our fellow travelors. It can be a momentary or fleeting intimacy, in a certain time and place. ANd it can be a lifelong one of love and commitment. But the important thing to keep in mind is that its there, its tangible and we need to learn from it.

Some Say Love...

Love is a complex thing that is often explored in music. In the article "Pure Sex, Pure Love" provided by Busted Halo, we see that our search for a 'soul mate' may be more ambitious than we could hope for. Not to say that marriage is meant for strangers, but rather that we cannot rely solely on one other person. What happens when there is an argument and you need to vent to someone else? That is why we need to expand our understanding of love from the narrow true-love-and-nothing-else mentality. Here we can turn to music. We see the stark differences in various songs. In "My Heart Will Go On," we hear: "Every night in my dreams / I see you / I feel you." Those lyrics allude that in our dreams, where happiness and peace dwell, we find our lovers. Therefore, love is a dreamlike reality. But we can also see what love is like in Demi Lovato's "Unbroken": "I'm gonna love you like I've never been broken." Here we see that love is a strong feeling that can break one into pieces but also recover a broken heart. It is both a weapon and a medicine. Another song that highlights what love can be viewed as is Bruno Mars' "Just The Way You Are." This song explains how love accepts one for who and what they are, believing that they are more than beautiful as themselves than anything they could force themselves to be. John Mayer's song "Your Body is a Wonderland" explores the physical and intimate side of love, sexual intercourse. It talks about sex as a sea of love that is so deep and caring. The last song that I think really captures what love can be is "A Whole New World" from the Disney Film Aladdin. Love is an adventure that can show us "a whole new world / a new fantastic point of view." It an eyeopening journey of community and commitment. I think that soul mates is a nearly impossible journey. There is someone out there who we can share our experiences with, but that's the point. Our experiences are built off our relationships and levels of love with our friends and family. They help build our characters and personalities, the things that ultimately attract our soul mates to us. Thus, I believe that it is necessary to have a connection to all while looking for someone, not a soul mate, to share your experiences, happiness, and joy with.

My experience with the "domestic church"

Family is, as you stated, "the place where love, forgiveness and trust should first be encountered." Yet in my own experience, this was far from the case. I was raised into a Catholic family where you did what was right and that was it. You said your prayers, went to Mass each week, volunteered your time at the local food pantry, and kept your heels in check. Despite my constant attempts to be fulfilled, I did not get that from my family. Rather, I was "hypocritical" if I went to Church/youth group too often, and "a bad Catholic" if I didn't do all those things. My experience with the domestic church has actually made it more difficult to have a close relationship with Christ. The lack of communion that I have with this domestic church makes it hard to see that family is the primary vessel. I have to be honest in saying that I believe we experience the domestic church more from our peers, the people we surround ourselves with who choose to treat others as the children of Christ, embedded with dignity and respect. The cons of the family as a domestic church is the arousal of Catholic guilt and feeling that if you aren't the holiest or most active, there is something wrong with you. From my own experience, I can't see any pros to the family as a domestic church. I feel that marriage is a sacrament and we have to respect that, but I feel calling us to evaluate the impacts outside factors can have makes our fears of divorce stronger. It is an illusory correlation. Marriage is all about communication and willingness to live in companionship with another. Adding up the outside factors only makes it more likely that divorce will happen. The problem we face today is not in more or less education but rather more or less communication skills, necessary tools that help couples work through challenging life events. I don't want to confine the domestic church to my future home but rather have it radiate through my words and actions. As a result, I plan to make the domestic church more of a lifestyle than an at-home job.

Marriage and Vatican II

In the 50 years since Vatican II, we have seen the changes unfold, the most famous being the switch from a Mass done only in latin to one in the local language. In addition to this change, we've reestablished many Catholic teachings, including the Church's teachings on marriage. The primary emphasis in the doctrine is that married life is a vocation, like that of priesthood or single-life. It is a calling from God to expand Christ's message of love to the future generations. I feel that today's society does agree that is is a vocation but doesn't place the full commitment that the Church does on it. There are so many marriages today that are only seen as convenient, for lower taxes or whatever, and the sacredness in the call isn't as strong as it once was. Another point brought up in this article is how married love isn't fleeting. Today's society definitely contradicts this. We can see from Kim Kardashian's 72 day marriage that the words "to death do us part" have seemed to have lost their meaning to many. A third point is how marriage is supposed to grow and ripen. Many relationships today are only kept for the kids or for some reason that makes divorce not an option. Some may wait till the kids are out of the house before divorcing but others may spend a life of misery together in marriage because it wasn't what they expected and they didn't know how to get out. A final point established by Vatican II on marriage is the importance of family love. Marriage is supposed to be open to pro-creation, yet many married couples are either using birth control or having abortions to prevent or end unwanted pregnancies that would change life as they knew it. Overall, there are some things that society today doesn't support when it comes to the Catholic Church's teachings on marriage.

What is the point of dating?

There is much tension in the realm of dating when it comes to "hooking up." In today's culture, it seems like more and more often we find ourselves hearing stories of promiscuity and unconscious and, for lack of a better word, immoral acts. Busted Halo explores this growing phenomenon, wondering first off, "What is the definition of 'hooking up?'" The majority of those surveyed believe that hooking up constitutes as sexual intercourse. Then, they explore why this is. Are these one-night stands simply a precursor for divorce? A way to ease the blunt reality that not all relationships are built in mutual understanding and communication? I think that appropriate dating itself isn't a set-up for divorce. We are only looking to get to know one another, learn what we like and dislike, before running to the altar. Yet the hook up culture does promote a negative influence on sexuality. Sexual intercourse is not merely for strangers to enjoy self-gratification, but rather to form an unbreakable connection between a couple in love. I think that we need to have a stronger emphasis in our society on how sex before marriage isn't sinful if you do it for the right reasons (i.e. out of love, honesty, commitment, and compassion). If you do it merely for pleasure with anyone you can get your hands on, then that can be seen as promiscuous.

Traditions and Marriage

I think that men feel that by tradition, they are the ones who should propose, offer the ring, and lend their last name. If this tradition holds strong in society, it can lead men to feel that anything less is an attack on their manhood. This lack of worth might lead to depression or low self-esteem. Therefore, we often feel that to prevent those, we must allow the man to think he wears the pants in the relationship. I think the article raises valid points specifically about proposal. I find that when women propose, the relationship is looked at in a judged light. Whether it be positive (feministic belief that women should feel free to propose) or negative (harm the reputation of the man), there is a shadow of question cast upon the situation. We recently shared love stories in my Human Sexuality class. In comparison to the concept of women proposing, it didn't happen. Most of the relationships were tradition (with their little quicks) in the sense that the man proposed. The nature of the relationship can still be one of equality, but in the very act of proposing, it almost always fell to the man.

The Church and Human Sexuality

The Catholic Church's stance on human sexuality concurred with my 12 years of Catholic education in many respects. For one, I know that human sexuality is an act of love, a gift to be treasured between man and wife. Yet the overlying message present in the text is about far more than any physical act, it is about respecting our bodies, our gifts from God. We are called to use them in ways of kindness, compassion, and love. Human sexuality, therefore, should be just that. In cases of homosexuality, I respect the Church's stance in saying that they "should not suffer from prejudice against their basic human rights." This stance upholds the concept that love is love. The Church only expresses the immorality of acting sexually upon those urges. They do not state that being homosexual is wrong and sinful. I learned that the emphasis isn't for abstinence, although that is encouraged of course. It mainly focuses on chastity and treating your body with the respect it deserves. You can be a virgin and treat your body like trash, while others may have an active sex life but make sure they are listening to themselves. I think this article could benefit from discussing more in-depth the sexually active single life. I felt their stance was questionable because it called into question the legitimacy of the act. I think that area needs to be explored a little more in detail because people are having sex out of wedlock. As we mentioned, even college students are being "sex-iled" because of their roommates active sex life. Because it is a common thing across colleges today, I feel that it needs to be address what to do in that situation, whether it is to help yourself recognize whether or not it is a healthy relationship or whether it is for a friend.

Misson Statement

We all have our stories. Some may be painted with flowers and roses, while others are torn with abuse and hatred. Yet I promise to remain steadfast in support for all those who need me, caring and compassionate to not only my friends but also my dear neighbor. I promise to uphold the dignity of all human beings, no matter their race, background, social status, or any extenuating circumstances that may cause society to label them as unwanted outcasts. I promise to be open and understanding, supportive and present. I promise to be the best me that I can be. Some days that may mean giving 150%, other days I may squeak by with only 23%. Everyone has their own story, their own reality. I promise to never lose sight of this. I promise to be nonjudgemental as I listen to the lives of so many brave soldiers who've battled more than they were called to. I promise to stay true to myself, following my passion of helping others with every breath I take. I may not be a millionaire, but if I stay loyal and true to my passion and self, I know that I will be far richer than any sum of green paper could make me. I promise to be me.

It is said that people come into our lives for a reason. This statement couldn't be more accurate. My friend Jen has been an amazing and insightful friend throughout the past few months. Although our friendship is young in terms of trival time, the relationship and honesty that we have is simply incredible. She is simply one of my best friends. She knows everything about me and accepts me for who I am. She has helped shape me, forming my identity especially in the past few months. By letting me be myself (something that can be hard to do at times when feeling pressured to be like others), it's encouraged me to accept myself for who I am, embrace what I love, and know that everything will be okay as long as I trust myself. Our friendship has helped me grow by teaching me that I don't need to put on a facade and pretend to be someone I'm not. Instead, I must own the skin I'm in and know that I'm wonderful just the way I am.

The second thing that has affected my life has been my friend in England, Suzie. She, conveniently friends with Jen, has helped me in more ways that I can even express. When struggling to see who I really was, she reminded me of the that values she saw and continued to encourage me in accepting them. She is simply amazing. Whether it be offering support across the pond or just sending awkward animals my way to make me smile, I am so grateful for our friendship. She has reminded me that at the heart of all relationships there must be honesty, sincerity, and a genuine care for others. And through our friendship, I have learned that friends are more than the people who smile and laugh with you. They are the ones who don't care if you cry into their Facebook inboxes or send long rants or simply stop in to say hi. They always care about you and want you to succeed. There is a simply honesty and beauty to our friendship that words can't even describe. And so for that, I am thankful. So although far away in England, she has a warm and open space in my heart.

The third thing that has influenced me in my life has been yoga. The practice of yoga is dedicated to rekindling the mind-body connection that is often suppressed in today's quick-paced world. Having started it this summer and plunged into a three-class-a-week schedule, I found myself coming to see the strength and power I already have. It has been so amazing to tap into that through the various yoga poses. The constant emphasis on breathing has led me to just stop. Breathe. And be. To let myself enjoy the life around me, instead of always wanting "more." It has been such a wonderful experience (something that I do get to share with Jen). We actally plan to attend this yoga festival. You should check it out here!