Some Say Love...

Love is a complex thing that is often explored in music. In the article "Pure Sex, Pure Love" provided by Busted Halo, we see that our search for a 'soul mate' may be more ambitious than we could hope for. Not to say that marriage is meant for strangers, but rather that we cannot rely solely on one other person. What happens when there is an argument and you need to vent to someone else? That is why we need to expand our understanding of love from the narrow true-love-and-nothing-else mentality. Here we can turn to music. We see the stark differences in various songs. In "My Heart Will Go On," we hear: "Every night in my dreams / I see you / I feel you." Those lyrics allude that in our dreams, where happiness and peace dwell, we find our lovers. Therefore, love is a dreamlike reality. But we can also see what love is like in Demi Lovato's "Unbroken": "I'm gonna love you like I've never been broken." Here we see that love is a strong feeling that can break one into pieces but also recover a broken heart. It is both a weapon and a medicine. Another song that highlights what love can be viewed as is Bruno Mars' "Just The Way You Are." This song explains how love accepts one for who and what they are, believing that they are more than beautiful as themselves than anything they could force themselves to be. John Mayer's song "Your Body is a Wonderland" explores the physical and intimate side of love, sexual intercourse. It talks about sex as a sea of love that is so deep and caring. The last song that I think really captures what love can be is "A Whole New World" from the Disney Film Aladdin. Love is an adventure that can show us "a whole new world / a new fantastic point of view." It an eyeopening journey of community and commitment. I think that soul mates is a nearly impossible journey. There is someone out there who we can share our experiences with, but that's the point. Our experiences are built off our relationships and levels of love with our friends and family. They help build our characters and personalities, the things that ultimately attract our soul mates to us. Thus, I believe that it is necessary to have a connection to all while looking for someone, not a soul mate, to share your experiences, happiness, and joy with.

My experience with the "domestic church"

Family is, as you stated, "the place where love, forgiveness and trust should first be encountered." Yet in my own experience, this was far from the case. I was raised into a Catholic family where you did what was right and that was it. You said your prayers, went to Mass each week, volunteered your time at the local food pantry, and kept your heels in check. Despite my constant attempts to be fulfilled, I did not get that from my family. Rather, I was "hypocritical" if I went to Church/youth group too often, and "a bad Catholic" if I didn't do all those things. My experience with the domestic church has actually made it more difficult to have a close relationship with Christ. The lack of communion that I have with this domestic church makes it hard to see that family is the primary vessel. I have to be honest in saying that I believe we experience the domestic church more from our peers, the people we surround ourselves with who choose to treat others as the children of Christ, embedded with dignity and respect. The cons of the family as a domestic church is the arousal of Catholic guilt and feeling that if you aren't the holiest or most active, there is something wrong with you. From my own experience, I can't see any pros to the family as a domestic church. I feel that marriage is a sacrament and we have to respect that, but I feel calling us to evaluate the impacts outside factors can have makes our fears of divorce stronger. It is an illusory correlation. Marriage is all about communication and willingness to live in companionship with another. Adding up the outside factors only makes it more likely that divorce will happen. The problem we face today is not in more or less education but rather more or less communication skills, necessary tools that help couples work through challenging life events. I don't want to confine the domestic church to my future home but rather have it radiate through my words and actions. As a result, I plan to make the domestic church more of a lifestyle than an at-home job.

Marriage and Vatican II

In the 50 years since Vatican II, we have seen the changes unfold, the most famous being the switch from a Mass done only in latin to one in the local language. In addition to this change, we've reestablished many Catholic teachings, including the Church's teachings on marriage. The primary emphasis in the doctrine is that married life is a vocation, like that of priesthood or single-life. It is a calling from God to expand Christ's message of love to the future generations. I feel that today's society does agree that is is a vocation but doesn't place the full commitment that the Church does on it. There are so many marriages today that are only seen as convenient, for lower taxes or whatever, and the sacredness in the call isn't as strong as it once was. Another point brought up in this article is how married love isn't fleeting. Today's society definitely contradicts this. We can see from Kim Kardashian's 72 day marriage that the words "to death do us part" have seemed to have lost their meaning to many. A third point is how marriage is supposed to grow and ripen. Many relationships today are only kept for the kids or for some reason that makes divorce not an option. Some may wait till the kids are out of the house before divorcing but others may spend a life of misery together in marriage because it wasn't what they expected and they didn't know how to get out. A final point established by Vatican II on marriage is the importance of family love. Marriage is supposed to be open to pro-creation, yet many married couples are either using birth control or having abortions to prevent or end unwanted pregnancies that would change life as they knew it. Overall, there are some things that society today doesn't support when it comes to the Catholic Church's teachings on marriage.

What is the point of dating?

There is much tension in the realm of dating when it comes to "hooking up." In today's culture, it seems like more and more often we find ourselves hearing stories of promiscuity and unconscious and, for lack of a better word, immoral acts. Busted Halo explores this growing phenomenon, wondering first off, "What is the definition of 'hooking up?'" The majority of those surveyed believe that hooking up constitutes as sexual intercourse. Then, they explore why this is. Are these one-night stands simply a precursor for divorce? A way to ease the blunt reality that not all relationships are built in mutual understanding and communication? I think that appropriate dating itself isn't a set-up for divorce. We are only looking to get to know one another, learn what we like and dislike, before running to the altar. Yet the hook up culture does promote a negative influence on sexuality. Sexual intercourse is not merely for strangers to enjoy self-gratification, but rather to form an unbreakable connection between a couple in love. I think that we need to have a stronger emphasis in our society on how sex before marriage isn't sinful if you do it for the right reasons (i.e. out of love, honesty, commitment, and compassion). If you do it merely for pleasure with anyone you can get your hands on, then that can be seen as promiscuous.